Sunday, September 23, 2007

WAKE UP ANNE!!!!

i dowana to be failure in life. it always takes things to happen before people learns. its so true. but yet m the useless one whom never learn yeas. i failed my Os last year. i face the truth of nt being able to get to anywhere. and i took the courage to retake my O level. yet im NT putting in my best to strive. i slap myself real hard today. i felt ashamed today. so ashamed. im studying on maths. cox i really want to study. and i meet this friend call "perfect square" and i got lsot. i dun freaking unds. then my YOUNGER sis came along. and i ask her. u noe at tat point. i really want to find a hole and get into it. its nt the diffcult part of asking her. its tt i cannot face myself. i broke down in the toilet. looking at he mirror and seeing how useless someone can be. theres a phrase saying. its always hard to plead people. IT TRUE. haiz.

looking back into my life. i was a damn quiet child when i was young. and my grands use to tell me how glum i look at her hse. slowly slowly. i put a smile on my face. from a smile to a laugh. and how my grands use to tell me how happy she was when she see me cox i keep smiling. cox of a birthmark i was mocked ever since i was young. diff kind of names was put on me. waipo tell me to ignore them. she told me tt im the most obdient grandchild she had among the 12. i was proud. until sec life. i begin to see her lesser and lesser. i choose to go out wif my friend than gg to her hse. i feel tt she is a nuisance. i become astray. i steal. i lied. i fight. i scold vulgar. i break school rules. i got suspend. almost the bad things tt could happen. i did it. i almost make my parents give me up. i ran away from home. i drink and work till late in the night. everyone ask me to study hard. i lied and say ya ya ya. and i failed. yet my parents went to poly with me to get application. my mum tell me as long as i work hard. there is still chance. i took the chance and retake O.

but i took things for granted. my mum didnt scold me. and i went off to work. taking pay and spend it. play with my friends. and neglect my studies. always saying. there is tmr. WAKE UP ANNE. the day will never come unless u work hard. im left with almost a mth. if i dun pull up my socks now. i will always be a FAILURE in my life!!!! time wont stop jus becox im tired. the day will stil cme. whereby i wil be sitting and retaking my paper. i dowan to be like wad i was last year. shedding tears and crying over spilled milk. i will be a changed person. i learn my lesson. i hate myself. for keep telling myself to change yet still standing at the same point. i will learn. anne needs to grows up. i know it. haishx. i need the time yeas? GAMBATEH ANNE!!!! go go go!!! my friends! CHEER FOR ME YEAS??????? dun say im naive!!!! pls~~ i will wake up and know tt life wont change. things gone will nt come back.

Written @6:20 AM