Monday, May 24, 2010

there is this moment in my life that i gave up performing. i gave up music. i gave up attending a passion that i have been attending for 8 years. but deep down. am i happy? i duno. but i guess. i need to have a break. to leave singapore. to enjoy days that i called my own. to be with people i love. now. i just dont want to think of anything than having a break and relax. i need that i badly need.

having to work continuously for days. i think through alot. i used to love my job. i used to be okay leaving my hse 2 hours earlier just to be on time for work. i used to be fine with working earlier. i used to be looking forward to every working day. i used to be loving EVERYTHING i do... then i realise. that was the PAST. thinking back..

"can you give me back my crocs?"
"why are u emoing at one corner?"
"memorise the menu"

this is all that happened in the first day. no matter how much workload we have to take. how mani photos we have to take each day or how mani burgers we need to make or sell everyday. i realise at the very basic. Im happy. im happy eating lunch together at the fridge. Im having running to take volunteers and interaction. im happy taking non stop pictures. im happy when everyone gets busy together. im happy when i could sit down at the same corner and chat with people. im happy when we could shout at miaosing. im happy when we are shouting "poncho for sales" and how we are so motivated becos we will get free ice cream if we sell alot. im happy with everyone in the old DL. and im typing non stop when im typing this.

now. im unhappy with everything that happens everyday and today, 11o62o1o marks the breaking point. i've enuff. i've seen through the true colours of everyone. i've seen how selfish everyone could be. now... its time for me to move on. i always wonder. wad is the thing that kept me here for so long,... it used to be friends. but now.. i duno... my mum told me. even though the pay for this job is high. but u are not happy. think back. when u are having ur attachment. ur pay is low. but u're smiling everytime u come home. isnt that all that matters. sooo true.

Written @10:27 PM